What do you think of the beginning of my exposition about media influence?

//Sorry for any spelling errors, and if you have any suggestions please tell me =D//

BTW his isn't homework, I'm just bored.

All she wanted was a cut-out of the embroidered tote bag she had seen in the magazine. But she couldn't find it. The girl's eyes were focused on the polished teen magazine. She flipped each page intensely, and she felt her jaw drop to the floor. Clusters of fragile-looking girls with skin-tight jeans, tanned six-packs and flawless skin packed each page she flipped. Each of these dreamike girls shared the same features: Long flowing hair, beautiul almond shaped eyes, symmetrical white teeth and flawless skin. She dropped the magazine before it consumed the remainder of her pride. The girl walked to the full-length mirror and stared at herself in pre animosity.

Shockingly, media has a had a huge impact on our society. It has seduced us with its advertising or commercials to change or views, buy certain products and even worse, change our personality

What do you think of the beginning of my exposition about media influence?

Nice to see people that can cut through the media bull sh*t as you have....You are on a great subject. Better yet, have a look at how news media affects the thoughts of people and how severely it has divided the nation. Look at the values and agendas of the owners of big-media outlets and you'll see the unfair influence they have on the way people think...Simply to promote what they believe, not necessarily what is true or in the best interest of this country.

What do you think of the beginning of my exposition about media influence?

But she kept on buying the magazines because she's a sucker.